Katherine Harris Still Sucks or Why I Couldn't Eat My Lunch
Just so we’re all on the same page, y’all remember Kate, right?
Refresher:
Secretary of State of Florida during the 2000 (s)election
Congresswoman of Florida's 13th District
Boobies
Practically laughed out of the 2006 Florida Senate race
Shares make up tips with Tammy Faye
This quote "...if you’re not electing Christians then in essence you are going to legislate sin".
It’s all coming back to you now, hu?
Great.
Well, beautiful, talented, opossum loving Katherine Harris ruined my lunch today. My $7 Thai chicken salad with peanut sauce lunch no less.
Keep your lunch down as we venture over the flip...
I have lived in Sarasota, Florida for over 20 years. As you may know, Sarasota is home to the lovely and talented Miz. Kitty Kat Harris. Even before her Congressional run she was a fairly famous face around town and, to be perfectly honest, how could you miss that face.
In fact, her local celebrity status had, in a way, numbed me to seeing her around town. While some folks new to the area tend to run screaming after bumping into her while turning the aisle at the super market, I would calmly register The Face and walk away.
After years of exposure I had developed the necessary antiboobiesdies so to speak.
I hadn't realized that my KHIS (Katherine Harris Immune System) had weakened since her failed Senate bid.
Weakened bad.
So bad in fact that today I could barely stomach my favorite lunch.
You see, after her miserable (read: miserably fantastic!) loss to Bill Nelson, Katie sort of fell off the Sarasota radar. I hadn't noticed how much until today.
Today at precisely noon eastern time I walked into my favorite Thai restaurant to enjoy lunch with my boyfriend and our mutual friend. I sit down and my boyfriend says "did you get my text message". I say, "no, what about?"
At this point a lot was going on, all at the same time, so I'm going to take it very slowly.
My boyfriend says, "did you get my text message?"
I say, "no, what about?"
I look up at the glass of water in front of me.
I reach for the glass of water and put my lips up to the straw.
I sip and my eyes register The Face.
I gag.
My boyfriend finally answers me, "about HER".
Imagine my horror! Katherine Harris is sitting one table away at MY favorite Thai restaurant FACING ME! My KHIS is shot. Oh God No! This alone sends me into a full blown rage filled panic attack. I look at my boyfriend and friend and say, "how am I supposed to eat like this!?!" To which my friend answers, "why do you think I sat this way", his back to Harris. Thanks buddy.
She's sitting with two fat, old, white men (her favorite) and the table is not covered with delicious Thai food but with blue prints. And my ears start burning as I register her annoying voice "and this is the entrance" "and this is the foyer" "and this is the third floor" "and this is the dumb waiter" "and this is the slave quarters".
Okay, that last one was an exaggeration but motherf%&ker!! First the 2000 election and now my lunch! You bitch!
Cut slack? I refuse.
What would you do if confronted with this situation?